Brendan visits tonight

Feb 9,
1 year since I've seen Brendan and also the last time I saw him.

Today I felt B around me a lot.  I was starting to doze off and I felt him approach me on the left. He touched my hair, leaned over and kissed me on the lips.  I said out loud...."Brendan, I miss you, I love you; I miss you, I love you; I miss you, I love you................" and on and on for 5 or so minutes.

As soon as I wrote this and clicked 'Publish' my bedroom door closed by itself.

Grief Is Love's Unwillingness To Give Up

"Grief is love’s unwillingness to give up. 

It's creating a space where you can love someone in their eternal absence."

What is grief in relation to love?

From the website: 'What's Your Grief?'

What is grief in relation to love? 

Quite often I think they’re the same thing.

When people think of love they often think of hearts, romance, and warm-fuzzies, but love is far more complicated.

Love is positive and amazing, yes, but it can also cause the worst kind of pain.

Perhaps the most painful kind of love is called grief, which happens when the object of a person’s love is taken away with no hope for return.

Grief is love.

Grief is love and the confusion caused by not knowing how to love someone who is gone. Grief is love’s frustration, bitterness, anger, and resentment at death’s destruction.

Grief is love realizing, if it wants to thrive, it has to be creative and find new ways to connect and be fulfilled.

Grief is love’s unwillingness to give up. It’s stretching bonds and redefining limits in order to create a space where you can love someone in their eternal absence.

I know you may not believe me, because right now grief seems like a nightmare. I’ll admit that some days I don’t believe myself, but then one of our readers says something tender or shares a loving memory or does something supportive for a fellow reader and I’m reminded that underneath it all, grief is love.

Some of you reading this may be feeling alienated, isolated, sad, and alone. We want to remind you, though, that underneath the stress, frustration, anger, disappointment, despair, guilt, loneliness, and sorrow – quite often there is love.

1 Year Later----Remember Brendan Lai-Wing Leung

Sequence of Events from the date of the accident to the date of our final goodbyes to Brendan Lai-Wing Leung. 1 Year ago.

Monday, Feb 5, 2018 at 7:01 PM. The accident. B is airlifted to Santa Clara Community Hospital. The dreaded phone call. Racing to the hospital. At 10:00pm, Neurosurgeon tells us B won’t survive his injuries. Brendan is on life support. B’s Uncle and I stay with him overnight in the hospital.


Tuesday, Feb 6, 2018. The morning after the accident. Brendan is on life support. B’s family (Corinne, Al, Bridget) arrive from Massachusetts. Doctors/Surgeons confirm that Brendan will not survive his injuries. They give us updates throughout the day. We all gather around Brendan; spending the day talking to him, holding his hands, taking photos of his tattoos, giving him our love and reading messages from B’s friends and family around the country & parts of the world.

Wed. Feb 7, 2018 We continue to gather around Brendan. Friends begin to visit to say goodbye. Doctors inform us that Brendan is declared dead 11:05am

Thurs. Feb 8, 2018 We continue to sit with Brendan as organ donor organizations make plans with Brendan's family.

Friday, Feb 9, 2018 We know it’s our final day with Brendan. Donor recipients are confirmed. At 5:00pm it’s time to officially say our final excruciating goodbyes to B. My last memory of Brendan~~~Bandages finally removed and Looking like a sleeping Prince.

Within the next 24 hours Brendan saves the lives of  3 Northern California Women with his organs and countless future others.

One Year That You've Been Gone?

How Is It Possible
that I can still miss you so much Brendan?
It's already been a year.
And yet it doesn't feel like more than a few weeks.
It doesn't feel like you are even gone.
It's as if you are somewhere around, not very far away at all.

It's as if in just a day or two I'll be seeing you again.
When you were still here on earth I longed to see you
when we were apart even for a day.
Our usual Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays nights and briefly Sunday afternoons.

And now that I look at the calendar and the calendar says that you left us at just about a year,
I realize,
You haven't been gone a year....
You haven't been gone from my life a year...
I live you every single day.
I must be visiting you during my sleep.
You must be in the dreams that I can't remember when I'm awake.

I only realize it When I think about you being gone one year
You are not gone from me
Am I gone for you?
I hope I am fully in your life still Brendan
I can't "measure" where "you" are anymore.
So I'm trying to learn how to measure where you are, using different tools

I'm getting clues, I'm researching, studying in order to find out where you are staying while I'm on the earth plane waiting to join you---- where I hope you---are waiting for me

Wait for me Brendan,
wait for me,  please wait for me!
Please continue to visit me during my dreams and in your dreams.
Let's not forget each other.
Please don't forget about me.
I won't forget about you.

I Will Love You Until The Moment I Pass From This Existence

A Perfect Description Of Brendan Lai-Wing Leung