Loving & Losing Brendan: A Very Public Grief: 2018-10-07

Yes, Brendan Would Say This Too! Quotes from Hunter Thompson

"Turn the goddam music up! My heart feels like an alligator!"

— Hunter S. Thompson (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)

"I felt a tremendous distance between myself and everything real."

— Hunter S. Thompson (The Rum Diary)

"This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here."
— Hunter S. Thompson (Kingdom of Fear: Loathsome Secrets of a Star-Crossed Child in the Final Days of the American Century)

"and the sad notes floated out to the
patio and hung in the trees like birds too tired to fly"
— Hunter S. Thompson (The Rum Diary)

"I never knew where I was going, but I ripped the tits off of everything that got in my way. By the time they figured me out, it was too late."
— Hunter S. Thompson

"A man can live on his wits and his balls for only so long."
— Hunter S. Thompson (The Rum Diary)

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

The Edge... There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

It was one of those fine little love stories that can make you smile in your sleep at night

With the truth so dull and depressing, the only working alternative is wild bursts of madness and filigree

On my tombstone they will carve, "IT NEVER GOT FAST ENOUGH FOR ME

There was an awful suspicion in my mind that I'd finally gone over the hump, and the worst thing about it was that I didn't feel tragic at all, but only weary, and sort of comfortably detached.

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

I felt a tremendous distance between myself and everything real

I never knew where I was going, but I ripped the tits off of everything that got in my way. By the time they figured me out, it was too late

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
— Hunter S. Thompson (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)

Marching to a different drum...

"It was obvious that he was a man who marched through life to the rhythms of some drum I would never hear."
— Hunter S. Thompson (Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga)

My 'failed' Trader Joe's Halloween Cookie House

The expression on my collapsed gingerbread house 🏠 is so sad ☹️☹️☹️

Without you here Brendan, I just can't make a proper TJ cookie house.

The sun shining through the crystals in my room are giving Brendan a spectacular halo 😇

Years Later: A Grief Beautifully Explained...

Years Later: A Grief Beautifully Explained....

Todd Rundgren: 'A Dream Lives On Forever'

Sacredness of Tears

Cycling through the stages of grief all day, every day

"End? No, the journey doesn't end here...."

by Ranata Suzuki

Brendan's Perfect Hunter S. Thompson Quote....

From Brendan's FB July 2013

Brendan's Secret Beach, Hwy 1 area. April 1, 2018.

Be Patient Toward All That Is Unsolved In Your Heart.....

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

― Rainer Maria Rilke

Brendan~~ at Burning Man

FB Post from Corinne 10/10/18

Brendan - at Burning Man.

A dear friend ensured that a little bit of Brendan made it to the Temple at this year's Burning Man. His spirit was wrapped in a crocheted swatch, folded into a heart shape that hung off the tip of the Temple, freely swaying in the wind. Sounds perfect! Thanks Connie.

It's So Very Dreadful To Miss Him...

It's so very dreadful to miss him. I just hate it in every way imaginable. I so want him here to snuggle with....even with his "reluctant" and "feigning" detachment towards affection....(that he was always faking!) He finally did admit to that just two weeks before he left us.

So happy he told me so many things I was longing to hear before he left! sigh.....

Dearest Al & Corinne,

I was just coming out of a deep sleep this morning when I suddenly found myself in a very old and grand library. It was as if I were looking down from a very high ceiling; and there was Brendan in a chair by a small window with an open book. The sun shining in.

This vast library was completely empty of people aside from him.. He looked up at me so happily and said in a surprised voice, "Wendy!" Look, I'm reading a book! They're training me and I've got lots to study."

Since it's so slow at the help desk this morning, I've been googling images of libraries, trying to find a library image that looks similar to the one in the dream. I've attached a couple of images that (if combined) remind me of where I found Brendan.

Cheers! I love you both so much.

--Wendy

Science Fiction Writer, Ray Bradbury on Death....

1. Writing as the protagonist's dying grandmother in his 1957 novel "Dandelion Wine":

"Important thing is not the me that's lying here, but the me that's sitting on the edge of the bed looking back at me, and the me that's downstairs cooking supper, or out in the garage under the car, or in the library reading. All the new parts, they count. I'm not really dying today. No person ever died that had a family."

2. "Death doesn't exist. It never did, it never will. But we've drawn so many pictures of it, so many years, trying to pin it down, comprehend it, we've got to think of it as an entity, strangely alive and greedy. All it is, however, is a stopped watch, a loss, an end, a darkness. Nothing."

3. In his 1953 dystopian novel "Fahrenheit 451":

"Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there.

It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime."

My Daily Tea Ritual

My morning ritual: Brendan's green tray, his grandmother's teapot and his

Chinese mug that was found in his Trader Joe's locker. I make a pot of tea every morning

before going to work.

Loving & Losing Brendan: A Very Public Grief

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