Wendy’s Tribute to Brendan:
My sweetheart, what can I say? I had the deep privilege and honor to be in the last 2 years of your life. I was--- the nerdy librarian from Philadelphia who didn’t drink and didn’t party…..
you were --whatever you wanted to be that particular night.
But Specifically You were a rare gem, unique, irreplaceable. You lit up the dry, dull places of my heart with your mischief and antics; your unique and blazing gem of a soul. Your mom called you “lightning in a bottle” and I knew she had it nailed.
You were nobody’s and yet you were everybody’s. There was always something new to discover about you. You were a multifaceted gem! Of course I’ve met many gems in my life. But to me, you were the rarest gem of them all. I compare you to a stunning, peculiarly shaped gem with a rainbow of pulsing colors, shining and slightly out of beat with the others.
I was captivated by that beat and that sparkle. And like a rare gem in the cave of many gems I had
to learn about you. To observe you, to understand what strange force in creation makes such an
Awesome human being. You couldn’t be tamed and you knew I wouldn’t try to change or tame you
….. therefore you allowed me into your world.
You begrudgingly let me love you,,,,,,, you eventually loved me back. We had 2 years of adventures,
laughs, love, massage nights, Classic Western Movie nights, British Masterchef nights, any British
Comedy mini series, Animal Planet, David Bowie performances on YouTube, Led Zeppelin….. I’ll stop here because the list would take up a whole notebook. And of course, I woke up many a night at your house from the blaring sound effects of Super Mario. And for some reason occasionally…..very loud YouTube music videos of Hall & Oates!
And I don’t think you would be too mad if I tell everyone that you were secretly a nerd too: you actually didn’t say “fuck, fuckin or fuck you” in every other sentence when you were alone with me. In fact we collected words from those British shows. Unusually charming, academic words that Americans never seem to use. When you heard one that struck your fancy, you would say…”Wendy, write that word down so we don’t forget it” and follow up with, “My mom would be so proud!” Then we would shift into our best fake British Accents and talk to each other.
I want to be sure that everyone understands that I absolutely adored you! I treated you like a Prince.
I know you didn’t have a white stallion that you rode on. In fact you couldn’t even drive (legally that is). I loved chaeffering you around because you were my “co-pilot”, I didn’t mind, buying you little things here and there. When I hear your voice in my head I hear: “Thanks for all the ‘rubbins’, the rides to work, and the weekly pots of chicken soup Toots!”
He was always reminding me that I did too much for him….but I couldn’t help myself. He reciprocated by buying me flowers and chocolate...providing us with Trader Joe snacks for movie night, and gifting me with a whole host of, succulent plant cuttings. (which are now growing profusely on my sun deck.) He brought me any feather he came upon and semi-precious stones and Shells that he found on the beach.
Brendan: We all know you lived your life on your own terms. We loved you even when you were a pain in the ass. We loved you even when you played your music too loud and kept the rest of the house up. We mostly didn’t mind being your private chauffeur and losing you at concerts!
We loved you because you lived your life of dreams…. life on your own terms. I knew better than to try and change one small particle of your being.( except maybe to eat more green vegetables, and to put the Coors down and drink some water---dammit!) I just made peace with sitting back and observing your life. One that was….Sometimes….yes sometimes irresponsible, at times slightly selfish. But always, always! loving, honest and ultimately with all good intentions. You wanted, fairness, love, and happiness for absolutely everyone.
From the more intimate side…. you were an awesome kisser. Big things really do come in small
packages. Yes; For 2 years, We had one beautiful, delightful , precious and “Unconventional” Relationship.
I’ll love you forever my cutie. And I will miss you for the rest of my life.
