Dana & Mary Ann Cushing's Fairyland Property: Brendan's Ashes

Corinne & Al took me to meet Dana & Mary Ann Cushing and walk around their property, knocking on fairy doors and looking at Cairns.

Weekend in Cohasset

Posted on FB February 7th: 2 years since Brendan passed away.

I am just saying it never really goes away..................

I was tired of well-meaning folks, telling me it was time I got over being heartbroken. When somebody tells you that, a little bell ought to ding in your mind. Some people don't know grief from garlic grits. There are somethings a body ain't meant to get over. No, I'm not suggesting you wallow in sorrow, or let it drag on; no I am just saying it never really goes away. (A death in the family) is like having a pile of rocks dumped in your front yard. Every day you walk out and see them rocks. They're sharp and ugly and heavy. You just learn to live around them the best way you can. Some people plant moss or ivy; some leave it be. Some folks take the rocks one by one, and build a wall.”
― Michael Lee West

Remembering Brendan's Valentine's Gift 2019

I wrote the following in response to questions on a Grief Group's FB page today.
and
I told the story to a woman who works at UCSC while we were walking to work super early this morning. She both cried and laughed at the same time and told me she had goosebumps all over her body. I was so happy to give her such a great Valentine's Day story.


Last year 2019, was my first Valentine's day without Brendan. It was the week before Valentine's Day and I had already made Brendan one of my traditional pop-up cards and bought him some gifts. Last year at this time my heart ached terribly, yet something magical happened. I came into the library an hour before opening because I was supposed to open that day. I spotted a Fresh Rose in the Lost & Found. At first, I took a double-take. I went over to the rose expecting it to be a fake, plastic replica. But it turned out to be real and very beautiful. I put it in water and set it on the circulation desk counter. It bloomed slowly over the following week and became more and more beautiful. Brendan's mom said, "See Brendan hasn't forgotten Valentine's Day." My friends and colleagues agreed.  I still make Brendan Valentine's Cards, Birthday Cards, etc etc. He's become my muse.