After all these months I finally found the right word, but in Portuguese.
Saudade: (Pronounced: sowdaj) One of the world's most untranslatable terms. The word means: to evoke deep soul-rending sadness, flavored with longing and melancholy.
A Blog About My Love, Brendan Lai-Wing Leung (Jan 18, 1976- Feb 7, 2018).
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