What I posted on the FB Page: Tribe of After
You are heard and companioned here. I know this is not a FB group that offers advice. However, I think it’s important that we share our struggles with each other. I will tell you my experience this week so that you know you are not alone. I had lunch with a colleague on Wednesday. She asked me lots of questions about Brendan’s accident and death. She was also a nurse. I needed to repeat my story as well. So I told her the whole thing from beginning to end. I showed her photos of Brendan in the ICU right after his accident, bandaged and bleeding. And the photos I took the whole week while he was in a coma and then pronounced dead. My last photo of me holding his hand. I didn’t realize that sharing this again would send me into a trauma.
I was set to visit my radiation oncologist for a check, a year after my cancer surgery and treatment. But while driving I felt I couldn’t breathe, that there was a heaviness in my chest. I was dizzy and not even sure I would make it to my appt. I thought I was having a heart attack. When I arrived, the nurses looked at me as I almost passed out, and knew that they had to get me to the hospital.. The hospital is right next to the doctors office so they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me to the ER. They did a full checkup, EKG, blood tests etc, etc and everything was normal. They were convinced I was having a panic attack. The next day I went to my doctor and he increased my anti-depressant a little bit. I have to work everyday, and make money to support my children. As you know, It’s so difficult grieving and trying to get through life... Even after 8 months tomorrow that Brendan has died, I am still despondent. I keep a Blog about Brendan and my grief. I now have 200 entries with my artwork, photos of him, poetry, insights etc. It keeps me going. Writing, writing, writing…...Luckily our friend Megan offers this support. ,
You are heard and companioned here. I know this is not a FB group that offers advice. However, I think it’s important that we share our struggles with each other. I will tell you my experience this week so that you know you are not alone. I had lunch with a colleague on Wednesday. She asked me lots of questions about Brendan’s accident and death. She was also a nurse. I needed to repeat my story as well. So I told her the whole thing from beginning to end. I showed her photos of Brendan in the ICU right after his accident, bandaged and bleeding. And the photos I took the whole week while he was in a coma and then pronounced dead. My last photo of me holding his hand. I didn’t realize that sharing this again would send me into a trauma.
I was set to visit my radiation oncologist for a check, a year after my cancer surgery and treatment. But while driving I felt I couldn’t breathe, that there was a heaviness in my chest. I was dizzy and not even sure I would make it to my appt. I thought I was having a heart attack. When I arrived, the nurses looked at me as I almost passed out, and knew that they had to get me to the hospital.. The hospital is right next to the doctors office so they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me to the ER. They did a full checkup, EKG, blood tests etc, etc and everything was normal. They were convinced I was having a panic attack. The next day I went to my doctor and he increased my anti-depressant a little bit. I have to work everyday, and make money to support my children. As you know, It’s so difficult grieving and trying to get through life... Even after 8 months tomorrow that Brendan has died, I am still despondent. I keep a Blog about Brendan and my grief. I now have 200 entries with my artwork, photos of him, poetry, insights etc. It keeps me going. Writing, writing, writing…...Luckily our friend Megan offers this support. ,
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