I Don't Want To Share Brendan With the Wind or the Earth Below My Feet

A woman from the grief support group I attended, sent me a poem from her mother that was written before her death. In the poem the mother instructs the children to listen to the wind for her voice; to look at the flowers because her beauty exists there. I appreciated the poem but this was my response to the woman: "I think that I must be a selfish person. Because personally, I just want Brendan to be alive looking like he always has. I don't want to share him with the wind or the earth below my feet. I don't want to share him with heaven (if there is such a place); I just want him here. So selfish of me I know. I guess that's the limitations of being a human. I just want our loved ones to be here to comfort us right now. I'm guessing that you would rather be able to just talk to your mom and hear her voice? At least that's what I want for myself. I want to hear Brendan's laugh again, yet it doesn't seem that anyone has recorded him laughing or even conversing. He's in a considerable amount of YouTube videos but it's all the professional sport he was part of. I wish I had recorded our daily times together where he was talking, laughing, being himself."